Aida
16-06-2002, 06:10 AM
Many people love to chat. About anything. All the time. Just look at the
enormous number of "chat rooms" found on the Internet, or the growing number
of people blabbering away on cell phones everywhere, or all the "talk shows"
that flood the television schedule, and you might begin to wonder if any of
us can stop talking if we tried!
Often, this apparent need for nonstop chatter can create a confusing
situation in a relationship. It's as if constant talk somehow reassures us
that the relationship is progressing, even if that never-ending flow of talk
has very little substance.
Sometimes, if one person in the relationship simply stops talking about
meaningless things like the weather or the traffic, the other person, who may
rely on the assurances of chatter, suddenly wonders if there is something
"wrong" in the relationship. That person may even begin to overanalyze the
situation -- even to the point of analyzing the relationship into oblivion.
But by many accounts, couples who chat less about meaningless nonsense are
indeed the happier and more contented couples. When two people are in love,
there is no need for constant verbal exchange -- because just being together
is enough.
If you are baffled and upset because you and your mate don't talk together as
much as you used to when you first met, well, perhaps it's actually a good
sign. Think about all those "things" you and your lover used to talk about.
Was it really important, or was it just common pleasantries that strangers
often speak to each other about?
For instance, things like the weather, movie stars, television shows,
co-workers, traffic, etc., are all very nice things to discuss with friends
and acquaintances and even strangers. But every day with your spouse?
When conversation with your spouse becomes less cluttered but more meaningful
when you do speak, perhaps it's proof that you and yours have entered into a
new phase -- a less superficial one where you are both so comfortable with
one another that no one feels embarrassed when the talking stops.
We all should give ourselves enough time to think of what we usually say or
talk about, and consider all the other means we can use to communicate with
each other and the world, and that to say the least will require some
silence.
Just think about it.
====================
From Email
Regards,
Aida
enormous number of "chat rooms" found on the Internet, or the growing number
of people blabbering away on cell phones everywhere, or all the "talk shows"
that flood the television schedule, and you might begin to wonder if any of
us can stop talking if we tried!
Often, this apparent need for nonstop chatter can create a confusing
situation in a relationship. It's as if constant talk somehow reassures us
that the relationship is progressing, even if that never-ending flow of talk
has very little substance.
Sometimes, if one person in the relationship simply stops talking about
meaningless things like the weather or the traffic, the other person, who may
rely on the assurances of chatter, suddenly wonders if there is something
"wrong" in the relationship. That person may even begin to overanalyze the
situation -- even to the point of analyzing the relationship into oblivion.
But by many accounts, couples who chat less about meaningless nonsense are
indeed the happier and more contented couples. When two people are in love,
there is no need for constant verbal exchange -- because just being together
is enough.
If you are baffled and upset because you and your mate don't talk together as
much as you used to when you first met, well, perhaps it's actually a good
sign. Think about all those "things" you and your lover used to talk about.
Was it really important, or was it just common pleasantries that strangers
often speak to each other about?
For instance, things like the weather, movie stars, television shows,
co-workers, traffic, etc., are all very nice things to discuss with friends
and acquaintances and even strangers. But every day with your spouse?
When conversation with your spouse becomes less cluttered but more meaningful
when you do speak, perhaps it's proof that you and yours have entered into a
new phase -- a less superficial one where you are both so comfortable with
one another that no one feels embarrassed when the talking stops.
We all should give ourselves enough time to think of what we usually say or
talk about, and consider all the other means we can use to communicate with
each other and the world, and that to say the least will require some
silence.
Just think about it.
====================
From Email
Regards,
Aida